Three Secrets to Overcome Performance Anxiety

It's called performance anxiety, stage fright, choking under pressure, being in a slump, writer's block, or having the yips. The bottom line is when you can't do your best when it counts, that erodes your confidence, saps your motivation, eliminates opportunities and even kills careers.

These three secrets, part of my Kenward Mental Coaching Method, are keys to overcoming performance anxiety, getting fast results that last, and bringing out your potential on demand.

Secret 1: Eliminate mental blocks

My basic test to find out if someone has a mental block is to ask how they do in practice (or when it doesn't count). If they do OK, but can't bring it out under pressure, then I know they have a mental block. It has to be removed before the player can truly do their best, so that's what I do first. Here are two free tools I have created that can help you do that. You can find them on my DOWNLOADS page: http://thementalcoach.com/downloads.html

First is my The Mental Coach Performance Questionnaire. The first page has questions to help you specifically figure out what you want, and what that will do for you (that helps you set your emotional payoff, which is really important). The second page has questions about what is going wrong (i.e. when did it start, what was going on in your life, etc.). A lot of the time, this creates understanding and and perspective to help you solve the problem.

Next is my Mental Game Snapshot, where you rate yourself in the areas of confidence, motivation, focus, and how you respond to pressure. This gets you thinking, and it is very powerful! It shows you areas where you are strong, and where you have challenges. I suggest everyone fill it out quarterly (I do), it helps you stay on track and spot any negative trends before they become big problems!

Secret 2: Create and cue a power point

Once the mental blocks are gone, then it's time to create and cue a power point. A great way to do that is to bring up a powerful multi-media memory of a past success. What that means is, in that powerful positive experience, write down what was there to see, hear, feel, etc. Fill out as much detail as you can, this really helps amplify the feeling. Now practice bringing up that feeling (again and again). Because we learn by repetition and practice, it will get better.

At that point, you can link that that powerful feeling to a word, sound, color, whatever you like, so you can cue it and it can be brought back on demand.

This is very similar to feeling an emotion when you hear your favorite song, look at a picture of your best vacation, taste (or smell) your favorite food. We all do this naturally, and I believe that if you can do something naturally, then you can do it on purpose, and cue it.

Your imagination is incredibly powerful, and this is a great way to make it work for you.

Secret 3: Test and measure results

At this point, mental practice is used. I have the player or performer imagine themselves in various scenarios, using their cue to bring on the powerful positive feeling they chose.

When they are consistently successful, then we move to scenarios where things go wrong, and they learn to use their cue to wash away negative stress, anxiety and emotions, regroup and get back on track. This alone will give you the competitive edge!

When you are confident that you can do this in your imagination, then you practice on the field, course, stage, etc.

This is a great DIY process and many people in sports, performing arts, even public speaking, have told me it has really helped them.

But, if someone is still struggling with overcoming their mental blocks, or they want to further power-up their confidence, motivation and focus, or boost their speed, power and accuracy, or bring out even more of their potential, that's when working together, one-on-one, can really make a difference. And I guarantee results. Let me know if you have any questions about that or any of these steps.

Every one of you has an amazing mind with unmatched potential. Using that on purpose is the key to winning the mental game, getting peak performance on demand and getting the competitive edge. Use it!

David Kenward - The Mental Coach
 thementalcoach@gmail.com
(916) 802-5897

What To Do When A Person Won't Let Go Of Their Pain

Do you know someone, maybe a performer, golfer (or someone else) in emotional pain? Maybe it's coming out as being in a slump, choking under pressure, withdrawing from performance, competition, friends, or even quitting their career. It's a problem with their mental game, it's holding them back and you'd think they want relief. But, they rebuff efforts to help them, perhaps even sabotaging suggestions or solutions.

They may say (or show) how bad they feel and how much they want to overcome it, or they may just suffer in silence. It's especially difficult to deal with if it is a friend or loved one.

What can help is to understand that what they are doing doesn't make sense analytically (they may even understand that). What I often hear from the people I work with is that it's like part of them wants relief and another part is holding them back. That is absolutely true. What's holding them back are beliefs, which are driven by powerful emotions such as anger, fear, sadness or guilt.

How can that hold them back? An example is a fear of change. If someone is free of what's been holding them back (or can finally control it) then their life will be different. Maybe they can rise to the next level or get back to where they used to be. Their identity will change, both in their own eyes and the eyes of those around them. People won't be as solicitous or helpful (especially the competition or media). Make no mistake, that can scare the heck out of people and many times they will do anything to maintain their status quo, as painful as it may be.

If you live, work with, or represent them, then what you can do to help them is understand, first, you can't force another person to change. Telling them how to solve their problem won't work, they probably already know what to do. Platitudes or motivational quotes (such as just do it, suck it up, things will get better, keep your chin up, everything happens for a reason, every dark cloud has a silver lining, etc.) won't work either (they usually just aggravate the person you are talking to). Remember, it's a problem with their belief system and trying to solve it analytically won't work.

They may feel better if allowed to vent, but it's your choice whether to listen (and it can be frustrating to listen to the same thing over and over when they aren't doing anything about it).

The bottom line, though (and I run into this with my clients) is that it's up to them. You can be supportive and encouraging but, ultimately, it is their choice. The best thing you can do to help them (and yourself) is to let them be who they are and avoid taking responsibility for what they do and how they think and feel.

David Kenward - The Mental Coach
(916) 802-5897

Does Cincinnati Reds' baseball player Brandon Phillips need a reality check?

I believe he does. So Brandon Phillips is upset he only got a six-year, $72.5 million contract from the Cincinnati Reds vs the 10-year, $225 million the Reds gave fellow player Joey Votto.

See the Cincinnati Reds blog article for details about that: http://cincinnati.com/blogs/reds/2013/07/19/brandon-phillips-speaks-on-contract-cardinals-more/ [photo from that article]

I think what's missing here is a sense of perspective that professional sports are a BUSINESS. If the Reds management believe that paying Phillips $72.5 over six years, will help the Reds profit much more that that, then that's a good business decision, regardless if the rest of us think it's ludicrous that someone would complain about "only" getting paid that much.

Regards the "slap in the face," and being "lied to," with the result he didn't get $200 million, well, that's business, and Phillips needs to understand it's not personal. And that's another part of the mental game - moving on.

The Sports Secret I Learned From The Sundance Kid

In the movie 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,' Butch was auditioning Sundance for his shooting skills with a pistol. Butch told Sundance to shoot at a target. Sundance aimed his pistol at the target, fired and missed. Butch wasn't impressed.

Video: Overcome Slumps with The Mental Coach

Would you like to learn a simple, three-step process that can help you overcome a slump?

Creating Your Mental Game Toolbox. Step Three: POWER PRACTICE SECRETS

The third step of creating your mental game toolbox is POWER PRACTICE SECRETS.

In step one you analyzed what you want, your payoff and what has and hasn't worked for you in the past. In step two, you learned about mental training tools and you should have picked one or more to start. Now, it's time to put them into action.

Creating Your Mental Game Toolbox. Step Two: PICK YOUR TOOLS

After completing Step One: ANALYZE, the next step in Creating Your Mental Game Toolbox is to PICK YOUR TOOLS. You've written down specifically what you want, whether you want to solve a problem or improve performance (or both), what you've tried and what your success payoff is. Now it's time to figure out what tools can help you do it.

Creating Your Mental Game Toolbox. Step One: ANALYZE

The great thing about sports is that you get to show off the results of your combination of ability, skills and practice. That's why it's so tough when you're stopped dead by your mental game AKA being in a slump, choking, having the yips, a hitch, meltdowns, etc. But, problems with the mental game can be fixed. Like with anything else, to fix something properly you need the right tools and know what to do with them.